6th Sense Movie Review (Parody)

In 1999 I started a Movie Review career. This was my first and last review.


“6th Sense” Movie Review

Let me start off by saying, that I missed the final 10 minutes of the film because I fell asleep, but I’m fairly certain I have the gist of it. “6th Sense” is the story of a man, Dr. Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis) who is well renowned in his field of Child Psychology, but whose perspective changes when a past patient (a near naked, malnutrition New Kid on the Block) who couldn’t be helped enters his home and shoots him.

Jumping straight to Malcolm’s next patient we don’t get any sort of story on his recovery from the shooting. I know it’s the movies so we just have to stretch our imagination, but I think even a little of this would help us understand different aspects of Malcolm’s personality and his current relationship with his wife. I guess though if he has to live with it, so do we.

Malcolm is assigned to treat Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment), a young man who hears and sees dead people. He grows to trust Malcolm who teaches him to deal with these actual ghosts who seek him out for help. It even comes to the point where Cole exposes a murder with the help of the spirit of a dead girl.

Overall the film moves along well with some suspense, and pretty good acting, apart from Bruce Willis, who comes across as cold and distant. Malcolm is able to help Cole, but I feel like there is no closure on Malcolm. If only Malcolm was dead, maybe Cole could’ve helped him. Anyway, I think the most shocking part of this film is that it has made so much money and gotten such great reviews. I give it a C-.

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Squad Goals: Open Letter to Tay Tay

Dear Ms. Swift,


 Let me just say I have been a fan of yours since the film “Valentine’s Day,” and recently it has been brought to my attention that you do music as well. How fun! Anyway, I’m writing because I was wondering if there are any current openings in your “Squad.” I notice you have singers, models, and actresses, which is nice, but you don’t seem to have any bald, 35 year old, stay at home Dads. If diversity is at all a priority to you this may be something you want to consider.

 Now I don’t want to just be the token bald guy in your group. I do have different attributes that I believe can be an asset to your Squad. For instance, I could organize a Fantasy Football League for the group. I’m sure that there are times where things become a little mundane and bland amongst the Squad and nothing like a little Fantasy Football discussion and smack talk to fill those moments.

Also, I believe I can really boost morale within the group. I recently saw that when you had the Squad join you on stage at a concert, Lena Dunham commented that she felt a little insecure standing with the rest of the girls. Next to me Lena will never have felt more beautiful in all of her life.

I’m sure that your beau Calvin, must also get a little tired of constantly having to hang out with beautiful supermodels and actresses. How many times has he been left on the bench checking his phone in the mall whilst you and the girls are out trying on old timey bathing suits? Now I can hang out on the bench with him or we can go visit H&M and discuss Fantasy Football (mentioned above).

 Lastly, I am more than willing to take the blame for things that may be a little embarrassing. Having small children I constantly have spit up and other stains on my shirts, so I have lost all shame. There’s currently a story about whether or not you “broke wind” at the VMA’s. If I were in your squad not only would you be able to blame me, it probably would even be my fault.

Thank you for your consideration. I hope that this letter would not create any Bad Blood and that you would not just Shake it Off. Being in your Squad would fulfill my Wildest Dreams.


                                                                                               Dave Hopping


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The War On Gluten

We will no longer stand for being oppressed by Gluten.  We will fight until we all our Gluten Free!  Check out our new Musical Comedy Video! #WarOnGluten

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